Bird Poop Karma

Sunday afternoon a bird pooped on my head. My now trendy grey hair was streaked with an unpleasant sticky green blob. It happened as I was getting ready to meet family at a restaurant in Carroll Gardens. The maître d suggested that it was good luck. My brother who met me at an outdoor table echoed that sentiment but Rachel, my more realistic germ-avoidant daughter, promptly gave it a “eeeewwww” and sent me to the restroom to wash it out.

Russians consider a bird defecating on someone a positive sign. Specifically financial, the person crapped on will quickly reap the rewards of an investment or win the lottery. Just FYI, the stock market tumbled on Monday and I stopped gambling 40 years ago when I stumbled on the wrong Vegas poker game and lost $1,000 in ten minutes.

For centuries birds have been considered mythical messengers of the gods. In ancient Indian rites they are symbols of liberation. So, getting pooped on might be an other-worldly blessing.

Maybe I just walked under a tree at a time when a bird lightened their load. Nothing more or less.

Recapping my weekend, a friend said I had “good karma” because the bird shat on my head. It just so happens I’m immersed in an online course called Karma, Rebirth and Liberation with Dr. Phillip Maas and my Sanskrit teacher Prem Sadasivananda and I are busy translating the 4th chapter of the Bhagavad Gita which deals with the concept of karma.

Of course, as if an avian born communique had descended from the heavens, my friend’s comment and indeed the whole bird fecal matter incident gets a more intricate evaluation.

While theories of karma are diverse, they do have some things in common. Virtuous actions will lead to virtuous results and non-virtuous actions will have non-virtuous results. When, where and how those results manifest is pretty much impossible to predict. They might happen in this lifetime or a future one. The effect may happen to the person who caused it specifically or the result may add to a universal trend of karma. When I use a plastic cup, turn on the air conditioning or take a trans-Atlantic plane trip, all of which I did this month, I contribute to our shared climate crisis.

The message from the texts is pretty simple, but far from easy, do ethical actions, relinquish attachment to the results and help liberate yourself and others from an endless cycle of suffering.

This week I got another lesson in karma. 25 years ago, I left a job as publisher and president of a newspaper distributed magazine called USA Weekend. Out of the blue and a quarter of a century later, a former employee wrote an article in an outdoor advertising trade journal about the persistent lack of women CEO’s at those types of organizations. He cited me as an example of someone who could make their industry smarter, faster and more prosperous. He posted his article on social media. By chance, or algorithm, I saw it. An online discussion ensued.

A different ex-employee said that our interactions or interdependent actions had been his “foundation of success.” These nice words washed over me and they certainly felt better than having glob of guano plop on my head. Fruit from old trees is very sweet indeed.

Of course it's natural to want to hear nice things from people and also avoid getting torpedoed from the skies. Neither outcome is predictable and both the feeling of desire and aversion are signs of attachment. It’s likely in some manifestation, I’ll cause and reap the effects of my and other's actions for ages to come.

In my present earthbound form, all I can do is act in ethical ways that cause as little harm as possible. And, try to look up every once in a while. A bird might send a message.

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Bitter Fruit for Uncertain Times